We Made It!

The day has finally come for Dylan to start Kindergarten. After years of work and worry, he has made it!

He has a great teacher who really wants to see him succeed...

And a wonderful aid who is with him every minute of the day.

It's hard to articulate how much it blesses me to see the supportive, caring people he is surrounded with. I know it's God's way of letting me know He cares and He is with us.

Next week we have another IEP meeting with a few hurdles to overcome, and then I can start to relax (a little!).  The school wants to transfer my son to another elementary, which obviously would cause him all kinds of setbacks.  New building, new lunchroom, new gym, new hallways new teachers, new bathrooms, new speech therapist...on and on.  We all know how well autism and change go together.  In our town, there are only two schools with an early childhood special ed program.  Since the one in our school district doesn't have one, they sent him to a nearby school that does.  Now when he turns six, they want him to attend the other school.  I am requesting that due to the nature of his disability they allow him to stay in his familiar surroundings so his education is not adversely affected unnecessarily.  We'll see how that goes. 

Aside from giving my son the best future possible, my second priority is to honor him by making his autism count for something.  If they move him against his best interest, I need to make sure I do something so that other kids that come after him aren't similarly harmed.  Maybe this is my purpose. I certainly hope not because I would much prefer a quiet, drama-free life.  But whatever hand I am dealt, I will play it.  The schools are filled to capacity and have a strict "no school-of-choice" policy.  If they give in on this request, it may set a precedent that they don't want to set.  I believe they will base their decision on what they think is in the best interest of the school district, not my son. That's not something I am prepared to quietly accept.

I have also learned something this week about his high school diploma.  I suppose this is common sense to most and only news to me, but I learned that if he continues to require IEP's through high school, his transcripts will disqualify him from admission to state funded universities.  He will only be able to attend community college.  According to our special ed director, since state testing starts in grade 3, this is the grade where his path is set - whether he will be working toward a typical diploma or an IEP-based diploma.  She did tell me that the path can be changed.  If he recovers significantly between third grade and the start of high school he can pursue a traditional diploma.  But to know how important third grade will be is important, and will influence decisions I make about whether he should be held back in some grades, as well as goals for IEPs. 

Anyhoo, onto the home front. 

Dylan had a setback today.  For the first time in years, he had a huge meltdown complete with kicking, screaming and self-injurious behavior.  The last time I saw him like this was before we changed his diet.  I was in the shower at the time and my daughter was looking after him.  By the time I arrived, he was in such a state that it took 20 minutes to calm him down.  I had to hold him with my legs and hold his hands with my hands to keep him from biting his fingers.  Once he calmed down, he took a bath and was perfectly fine for the rest of the day.  The only thing that may have caused it was that he got his hands on some orange juice yesterday, which is high in phenols and fungicide.  He has never been interested in drinking it before, so we haven't been careful about keeping it out of  his reach.  Now we will. 

In the meantime, the other kids are having their own drama. My daughter has just started middle school (oye) and didn't make the volleyball team, which for a twelve year old is devastating...especially when her best friend did make it. Her confidence is low and momma pep-talks are only doing so much. I didn't make cheerleading the first time I tried out, but later ended up as captain, with no classes, lessons or camps under my belt.  To me, this is a relevant story.  To her, it's a yawnfest about the dark ages that has no relevance in her life.  Sigh.  Then yesterday I saw the "F" word on her text message history. Mmm-hmm. So her cell phone has been confiscated, which has only added to the drama and unfairness of life as a tween (insert dramatic eye-roll here).

 My middle child has just started 5th grade and his teacher is a douchebag with not a stitch of common sense. He has come home a few times crying over clumsy insensitive things this guy says. Since hubby is the calm rational one of the family, he is handling this one. Plus Matt a big guy, so I'm hoping once he sees the size of Evan's dad, he'll think twice about spewing his frustrations at a child. One can only hope. I am disheartened to see the quality of teachers that may be responsible for my autistic child one day. When Dylan is in upper elementary and has lost all remnants of baby-cuteness, he will be an easy target for frustrated middle aged folks who need somewhere to vent. My stomach turns just thinking of it.

A bit of good news. My second youngest has a permanent smile on his face and is loving life this year. His teacher is young and enthusiastic and Josh just loves her.  My oldest is well into his first semester in college and has his routine down.  So we are two for five at the moment, but the fat lady has yet to sing.  So I am still hopeful.